Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
