u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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