Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
