Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
