I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
