My room smells like vodka and shame
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
