Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize