Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
where are my eyebrows?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize