Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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