i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
