This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
