my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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