This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize