we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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