one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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