apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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