I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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