Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
