well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she woke up with a sticky ear
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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