the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
