there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
