I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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