Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
