Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
