people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
