3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize