i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize