Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
