The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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