How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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