beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
