Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
