it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
