yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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