We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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