doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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