walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
