You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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