im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
