If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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