is your mom at the bar?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
