Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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