you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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