You can't motorboat a personality
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
