Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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