she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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