the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
