I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
