if you like me you must not know who I am
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
3 2 1 whiskey
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
