if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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