I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
