we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i drank out of a bidet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
