I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize