I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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