And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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