At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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