About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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