You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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