we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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