I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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