Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
