oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize