what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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