She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize