he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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