lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
