she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
