There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
