Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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