she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
