Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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