When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
