Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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