I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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